Training yourself to control your emotions is no easy task, especially if someone has gone out of their way to make you angry. Some polls indicate that more than 21% of us report we feel angry at work, and I believe that number has to be higher. We all know that anger at work left unresolved can lead to serious issues. We also all know that our emotions are our own and we and we alone control how we react to a given situation.
Exploding at a co-worker will not resolve anything and most likely make everything worse. You must learn to diffuse these intense feelings of anger that can be so damaging. First, learn to identify what triggers your anger. Did a co-worker make you feel stupid
in a meeting because of an error you made? You can reduce the pain of the embarrassment by addressing the issue with a manager prior to the meeting. Take ownership.
Continuously remind yourself that you are in control. You control your actions and the urge to respond immediately to a situation. Step back and take some time to reflect on the perceived threat and then respond accordingly.
Call a time-out. Works great for 4 year old and adults alike. Talk a walk, smoke them if you got them, or do something else that brings you back to that happy place.
After you have a chance to cool off, speak to individual that created the situation you felt needed an aggressive response. Talk to them in private but not in a place where you might feel the urge to overreact. It is possible the individual was not aware of their actions and will apologize. Be sure to stick to the facts and try and leave the emotion out of the conversation.
Give your co-worker the benefit of the doubt. You never know, they might be speaking out of turn on a subject that they had little understanding about. Make sure they are aware of your role and responsibilities if that could be the source of the issue.
Dig for the answer. Like most things in life, the answer lies within. Do some soul searching and determine if your anger is rooted in something deeper. Are you overworked and underappreciated (who isn’t), do you lack the training for your role, does your leadership give mixed messages and direction or is there something personal, outside of work that is manifesting itself at work?
Your ability to keep your emotions in check will go a long way to creating a better work environment and further develop the relationships we all need.
