Ever have a run in with a co-worker that you thought was resolved only to get the cold shoulder at some point? Despite the apparent resolution, some people find it had to move past the issue. Bad feelings and grudges can grow and fester until the situation becomes intolerable, preventing the two of you from being able to work effectively together. The situation will not resolve itself until you decide to approach your co-worker and determine what is still unresolved.
Ask what happened. Have a meeting with your co-worker or pull them aside ask what is wrong. Express your concern and mention you noticed and are aware of the rift. Do not accept “nothing is wrong” and let them know that you have an issue with the relationship as it exists.
Explain what upset you. Be certain to have examples ready when having the conversation. This is not a conversation you need or want be use vague comments, be specific as possible. Avoid rattling off a laundry list of issues. Stick to the point and try to deal with the issue you first approached your co-worker about.
Give your co-worker a chance to respond. Ask open ended questions that allow your co-worker a chance to explain. Listen without interrupting and try to determine if the issue is what you believed it to be or if a new problem has risen from the ashes.
Be the bigger person and offer an apology. Yes even if you don’t feel responsible for causing the problem. If you don’t the issue will never fully dissolve. Resolve the issue together. Ask what you need to do to resolve the issue and regain a positive a positive working relationship.
If you don’t succeed in resolving these types of issues your ability to perform will be severely compromised. Work will be someplace you don’t want to go on a daily basis. Eventually, someone superior in the organization will see this a weakness which can be damaging to your career.
